Dear London,

I am torn - With the news that the schools will be reopening in June on a part-time basis in BC.

Your school did a parade the other day where all the teachers decked out their cars and went to the surrounding neighbourhoods - it was oh so very sweet and seeing your face light up and how excited you got to see your kindergarten teacher just melted my heart - I know how much you have missed school, your friends and your teacher and it honestly breaks my heart that this has been your experience for your first year into the school system and I am worried about what it will be like for the future.

School especially kindergarten is very social and playful and not to have that just makes me sad to think of. It will be a huge adjustment to not hug your friends in the morning like you did everyday or hold their hands while you walked down the hall to the classroom - it will even be an adjustment in terms of how we do dropoffs as I probably won't be allowed to drop you off at the classroom anymore - my eyes are filling with tears as I think about that - so much change - necessary but oh so hard

Hence why I am torn - I think its important from a closure point of view that you get to say goodbye to kindergarten - to your teacher, your classmates and the classroom - I think you and I both need that. I also think it's important from a preparation point of view of how September might look in terms of Covid-19

On the flip side I am also worried- I am worried that this is all to soon - I worry we aren't ready and when I say 'we' I mean the schools, the kids, the parents the list could go on.

I worry about the stress the teachers will be under not only to ensure all the extra precautions are in place but also because it is optional for parents not to send the kiddos to school in June which means they will be under extra pressure to not only provide lessons in school but to continue to do so online.

We have started to find our groove with the school at home thing and so I think I am also worried about changing routines for just a few short weeks - it all just feels like alot

I feel like I am doing the flower game - you know the one where you peel one petal off and the next until the last petal and that makes your decision -

I am trying to follow my gut on this and to be honest it does feel unsure - I am hoping it gets some clarity in the next week or so when we get more information but what a year 2020 has been kiddo

I read you a book recently called 'How to be a lion' by Ed Vere and there was a part that resonated with me 'you be you and I will do I'.

We are all going to make a decision that is best for each of our families - I am just not sure what that is for us